Text:
{Old Father Christmas, with sword in hand, makes room.}
Old Father Christmas
Room a Room brave gallants all,
Pray give me room to rhyme;
I am come to show you activity
This merry Christmas time:
Activity of youth, activity of age
I will show you such activity
that never was acted upon a common stage.
{Father Christmas calls the Royal Prussian King.}
Royal Prussian King
In comes I the Royal Prussian King:
Many a battle have I been in,
I have fought this battle at home and abroad;
I have brought the truth upon my sword.
Where 's the man that dares to bid me stand ?
I would cut him down with my creeagus hand,
I would cut him and hew him as small as flies
And send him to King George to make mince pies.
Walk in Jack Vinney.
Jack Vinney
In comes I Jack Vinney.
Where's the man that dare to bid me stand?
He said he'd cut me down with his creeagus hand.
A battle, a battle with him I will try,
To see which on the floor shall lie.
{These two men with swords must fight a battle.
One of them will fall and Father Christmas will call for he doctor.}
Father Christmas
Ten pounds for a good doctor if he was but here:
Doctor, do no longer stay
But mount your horse and ride away.
{The Doctor stamps up and down and says}
Doctor
Hold my horse, Jack.
Jack
Yes, Sir, I have it fast by the tail.
Doctor
In comes I, Doctor Hero. I was bornd at home:
I have travelled many parts of the country
and I am well known at home.
Father Christmas
Pray, Doctor, what can you cure?
Doctor
Oh, all sorts of diseases,
Whatever my physick pleases,
If it's the itch, the pitch, the palsy and the gout,
If the devil is in, I can fetch him out.
Now if the man is not quite dead,
Rise up, bold fellow, and fight again.
{When hey start again the Tom Fool will walk in
and dance about and stop the fight.}
Tom Fool
In comes I as an't been it
With my big head and little wit:
My head so big my wit so small,
I will dance a jig to please you all.
Father Christmas
Walk in old Beelzebub.
{Beelzebub carries a bowl in his hand to receive the
money and has a hump on one shoulder.}
Beelzebub
In comes I old Beelzebub
and on my shoulder carries a nub
and in my hand a dripping pan.
Do you think I'm not a jolly old man?
{This one walks in with a broom and sweeps round the room and says}
...Money I want and money I crave:
If you don't give us some money I will sweep you all to the grave.
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