J.M.Rose (1935)
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[-- OCR transcription not proof read --]
EAST MARKHAM BOY SCOUTS;
BROADCAST
PLOUGH MONDAY MUMMERS
The other Thursday afternoon, in the
Children's Hour from the Midland Regional
Broadcasting station, the East Markham
Troop of Boy Scouts were heard in the
play "Plough Monday." They were introduced
by Col. J. Markham Rose, D.S,O,
and as many readers will be interested in
these old customs, now fast dying out, we.
give below the text of the play as performed,
together with the introductory remarks
of Colonel Rose:-
Colonel Markham Rose:
The second Monday in January lS · still
'known as "Plough Monday," as rep re sent~
iog the date on which the farm worker reo.
Ilumes his work on the land after the
'Christmas holidays. It is ' even honoured
'in I~ondon by the Lord Mayor,. who' holds a
banquet at the Mansi,?n House on tha~ day. ,
I In the North and East of Englal1d' ll1 old
:times the ploughmcn, decked with ribbons,
:Used to yoke themselves to a light plougu
land drag it from door to door begglI:g
" Plough money," and I have heard that 111
~o roe cases where it was refused they would
~lOl!gh up the farmer's garden!
But in the Midlands when I was young
we had a. different custom. ~t was in. the
days before every boy and girl had to go
10 school, and boys used to ,go to wor,k on
the Ia.nd when they were qUIte young, pC'!"ll1aps
only eight years old, and at twelve
'ca.rs or soon after they would be .. hired.
~ut " as plough boys for some five . to . t en
'ounds a yea.r, to "live in." Mr. Bowman,
~ow the village wheelwr~ght, tells , me he,
only got six pounds for h1S first year wl),en .
he was 13 years Old, and he says" I 'felt as
though I owned all Markham whe~ I got
1l1Y money at the end 'of the year!"
It meant that on small farms they y;ould
fced with the family; and on larger farms,
Iwnere there might be two or three, they
would eat with the other servants and per):.
taps sleep over the tables.
Their work began a t daybreak, or in the
<lark In the winter, but of course they went
to bed early. Not nn unhealthy life, ma in'
lY working in the open air, and they generally
grew to be sturdy men. They had
plenty' of good food, home-made bread,
bODle-cured bacon, and home-brewed beer.
Will you notice at the end of the play which
we are going- to do presently, that the boys
a.~k for a " jug of your best beer." To :;:ou,
1 think, that requires some explanahon.
'1'be farmers used to brew .. best beer" and
"small beer." The small beer was made
frorn a s;:·cond infusion of the malt and
hoPS used for the .. best,"and was in consequence
much wlW.ker--·less intoxicating-,
and was generally given to th.e . boys and
even to the men during work. It was not
unpleasant, and flavoured with ginger, was
often preferred by the boys .and was mucb
i'ettcr for them.
On Plough Monday they wer-e allowed to
go round to collect Christmas boxes, and in
))ljl.llY vUlages performed the small pla.y
wh!cl'i some of the East Markham Troop of
BoY Scouts are going; .to do now. Th~
Plough Boys would ViSIt all the f a.rms possi\
Jle on t~e same. evening, and perhaps the
Hall and Vicarage.
Picture a. cold-January evening, a large
farm kitchen, a roaring open fire, red tUed
~r, large cooking table, and hams and
~rge sides of bacon suspended from. the
ceiling . . A murmur would be heard outside
the door, and the Maid would run into the
IQur and announce "the mummers be ~e !" aild the farmer and his wife and
cilUdren would hurry into the kitchen to
receive them.
Each character enters in the same way,
eornmencing hIs first spt)ech with "In comes
1" I must just stop here to explain that
the characters and words differed in different
villages and even from year to year
In the same village, but we are doing the
version we remember best. The words were
not written . down- many boys could not
read or write-those who could had been
taught by their parents or in the Church
schools. Thus tlle words were just passed
en by word of mouth. T,he Sea.rgeant's
3peech shows that our version comes from
the time of th!t. NapoleGlUe Wars, before
1815. or at least 130 yean: since, as a
bounty was then given for recruits. .1
Jl$ve only got these words from .my OWIl
lllemory and others who acted in their
boyhood.
I will just tell you how they are dressed
in order of their appearance. After a
lmoek' on the .uoor. Tom Fool comes i~ in
tap a!'~ . b~l1s, ,and the usual dress ?~ n·
jester of the MIddle Ages. The Recrultmg·
sergeant ·. wears a scarlet tunic, white
'oreeches, gaiters, and has a ' shako decked
with ribbQnll to show his errand. (Recrui~!
jlg Sergeants I3till wear the bunch of ribbons)
. .A Ilho\iko, is a blue mllltary hat,
more or l~ss . cylindrical with a peak · in
"ont and with an. upright plume ·01" tuft,
~~d regimenW badge in fI.'ont. Next
character-.-the 'l?loughbQY--is In corderoy
trousers, tied round with 'a piece of , string
below the knees, rough. t.orn jacket or
smock, . and. heavy 'muddy boots, and cap
Accordlng.,to taste. Lady is :it boy dressed
'uP as a. smart · country girl of the period.
eDW' Boy is just It sbade smarter -and
tle1'.ner tlla:D. the Plough Boy, with a beezum
Of broom fo.t cleaning out the cowsheds,
And a horn for calling the cows. The Doc'
tor wears a long' black coat, riding breeches
'and top hat, and has It stick.
I wonder if you understand what is meant
by a cow boy? I asked the Scouts and they
#.l! promptly replied "A lad who helped
with the cows on the farm." Too obvious!
and· wrong! The cows are Ilearly always
'ro!ll(e<! and attended to by men. It is a
man's job, and the milkmaJd of the nursery
:rhyme existed only in fi ction except for a
short time during the Great war.
Here is the explanation. I can remember
in the times before motor cars came
In, the metalled portion of the country
roads and lanes was much narrower, and
so there were wide grass verges. Every
Easter the villages used to let the grazing
of these for the summer. It was possible
then to have .. three acres and ll. cow."
, rile cottagers who dId this, combined together
to buy r oadside grazing,s and leave
their three acres for a hay crop for the
winter food. They woull~ then hire a cow
bOY to look after the cows. He would eaU
for them in the morning, remain with them
all aay, called .. tenting," and bring them
back in the evening. He would sound his
horn to announce that he was calling for
or leaving a cow!
Now let them tell their own story - the
faru1er's family and servants a,re sea.ted
on 'hard chairs ' round, the kitchen, when
there comes' a loud knock on the door.
Characters:
Tom Fool ...... Troop Leader Claude Coupe
Sergeant ..... Troop Leader Lorry Hempsall
Plough Boy ............ Scout Roland Glasby
Lady .............. Scout Hugh Wainwright
Cow Boy .................. Scout W. Jackson
Doctor ..................... Scout G. Matthews
Farmer's Wife ................. Miss Pepper
Farmer ............ Scoutmaster A. Bowman
Tom Fool:
In comes ! whose never been Wore
With my malTY adore at the do;:,r,
Some can dance and some can smg-,
By yOul) consent they shall come ln,
Recfultmg Sergeant:
In COIUf.UI, I a, RecruU,1ng Sergeant,.
}.iy anival h~:re, just now, is to 'hat all
jolly fellows, ,
such as those that follow;> horse, can, or
plough.
Tinkers, .tailors, saddlers, nahers, commg
all at my adva,nce;
The more I hear the fiddje play the better
I can dance.
Tom 'Fool;~ .. .
You dance?
Sergeant:
yes, 1 can eil..hcr dance Ol~ si.ng a song.
[-- column break --]
Tom Fool:
Well, if you can dance or sing a song,
I must march-march-march along,
(Exit.)
Sergeant:'
Good people give altt.f;lntlon an~ listen to
my song,
I'll tell you , o~ a" ,yolmg ,man before Ule
time is)ong; " '
He's '&lffiost broken-h,ell.rted, the truU! I t~
do declare,
For some 'illir maiden's beauty has drawn a
him in is, snare. ' n
Sergeant (sings):
ComeiJl.ll ye lads that are bound to en-
list,
List, list, and 'do not be afraid,
For you shall have all kinds of drink
And kiss the pfetty niaid-- ldss the pretty
maid.
Plough Boy:
In comes I a plough boy,
Pity my condition hard, .
These cold times of the year,
But the pretty maid will soon be here,
Not to marry ,me as I dQ, fear.
Sergeant:
To serve the King art thou willing?
Plough Boy:
Aye, my lass has thrown me over,
Sergeant:
In thy hands, I place this , shilling.
Join thee regiment of thy county,
Ten bright guineas for thy bounty,
Hat trimmed with golden ribbons, '
Likewise cut a gallant show '
If with me you'll only go.
(Enter Lady on Tom Fool's arm,)
Lady:
In comes I a lady bright and gay,
With sweet fortune and sweet charms.
(Starts:)
Oh ! "'1 8E;~:my :swectheart's ':listed, t.
An ,. jOined· the volunteers; 11
That'tltroWI1 me int.o St. Rubyn's arms,
He shall 'Jf~t see my , many teal'S. Nor
wiWI sigh P
Because I would ,not , marry him, you
must understand
He's listed for a soldier and goes to
some foreign land.
Cow Boy:
In comes I, young teezum, squeezum,
On my back I carries my beezum,
On my arm I carries my horn,
As jolly a lad as ever was born.
(To Lady:)
Dost ta , love me, pret~y maid?,
Lady:
Yes, squeezum, to my sorrow.
Cow Boy:
When shall be our wedding day?
Lady:
Oh, squeezum, love, to-morrow!
Cow Boy (dancing round with Lady,
sings):
Oh, tooral, oh, tooral He lay,
We'll be wed to-morrow
If not to-day.
Plough Boy :
You leave my girl a.lone or I'll hit you.
(Enlisted Plough Boy tries to
separate them, ' threatening att-
tude.)
Cow Boy:
You fight!
Plough Boy:
Yes, me fJ.ght!
(They fight. Sergeant and Tom Fool
acting as seconds.)
Tom Fool:
Give it him, lad.
Sergeant:
Now keep cool.
Tom Fool:
Hit him hard.
Sergeant:
Put in with your left.
Tom Fool: ' '
Give him a finisher; you've got him beat.
(Plough Boy drops down as dead.)
Sergeant:
You've killed my recruit.
Lady:
Oh! He's' dead!
Sergeant:
Five pound.'! for a doctor!
Tom Fool:
Ten pounds to keep away!
Lady:
Fifteen pounds to come. Oh dear Doc-
tor, do please come!
(Sounds of trotting horse,)
(Voice outside: "Whoa! Whoa!
Hold my horse, laddie.")
Doctor:
In ccmes I, a noble Doctor.
Tom Fool:
You a Doctor!
Tom Fool:
How come you a Doctor?
Doctor:
I travelled for it.
Tom Fool:
Where did you travel?
Doctor:
In my Mother's pantry cupboard,
Mince pies, pork pies, and her hoard;
Ely, Iley. France, and Spain,
Round the world and back again.
Tom Fool:
What pains can you cure? ,
Doctor:
Ipsey, pipsey, palsy, and the gout,
Pains 'within and pains without;
Draw a tooth and set a leg
Cure this man that is now dead.
Sergeant:
You seem very clever. Doctor, you had
better try your skill.
Doctor:
By your consent then. so I will
Hold my hat, kid gloves, and walking
stick, while I feel his pulse.
(Does so.)
This man's not dead; he's in a trance.
Sergeant: .
What's that, Doctor?
Doctor:
He's swallowed a horse and cart, and
can't get rid of the wheels!
Here, Jack, take a little out of my bottle,
And let it run down thy throttle.
If thee can't fight, we can sing, so rise
up, Jack, and let's begin.
(All sing dancing round.)
Good master and good mistress, as you
sit round the fire,
Remember us poor ploughboys that
plough the mud and mire,
The mire it is so very deep, the water
runs so clear,
We thank you for a Christmas box and a
jug of your best beer;
Ah, ah, ah, and a pitcher of your best
beer!
(They drink healths.)
Farmer's Wife:
Lizzie, hand round the plum loaf while
I pour out the ale.
(Sounds of eating and drinking.)
Farmer:
Here's a Christmas box for 'e, lads.
All together and going out:
A merry Christmas and prosperoua New
Year. Good night, all. Good night,
and thank ye agin. Good night!
(Exuent.)
(Sounds of jug and liquid and glasses
and mugs. Horse trotting outside.) |
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