P.T.Millington Collection (1972, "Old Brunsly-ite")
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BRINSLEY - GUYSERS PLAY
Written down for Peter T. Millington on 16/1/1972, by an informant using the pseudonym "01d Brunsly-ite."
(Enter Master of Ceremonies dressed in dapper clothes)
MASTER OF CEREMONIES I open the door I enter in, And with your favour I shall win. Room room brave Gentlemen, And give us room to sport, For in this room we wish to resort, Resort and to repeat to you our merry Rhyme, For Sirs tis Christmas time. The time to cut up Goose pie does now appear, And we have come to act our merry Christmas here - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - So step up Saint George thou great and noble champion, And clear the way.
SAINT GEORGE I arn Saint George of England bold, I won ten thousand pound in gold. I followed a fair lady to giants gate, Confined within a dungeon to meet her fate, When a giant almost struck me dead, But with my valour I cut off his head. I've roamed this world all round and round, But a man my equal I've never found.
(Enter Slasher)
SLASHER I'm a gallant soldier, Slasher is my name, With sword and buckle by my side, I hope to win this game. But as to fight with thee, I see thou art not able, For with my glittering sword and shield, I'll soon with thee disable.
SAINT GEORGE Stand back Slasher, and let no more be said, For if I draw my trusty blade, I'll soon cut off thy head.
SLASHER How canst thou, when my head is made of iron, My body made of steel, My hands and feet of knuckle bone, I'll challenge thee to fee1.
SAINT GEORGE I'll make thee feel.
(Both draw wooden swords and battle commences. Suddenly Slasher falls. Enter Slashers Father dreseed as a very o1d man with long white beard and nobbly stick.)
OLD MAN 0h! George George, what hast thou done, Thou hast killed and slain my only son, And here he lies in the presence of you all, And I will wil1ing1y for a Doctor call.
(Loud voice. )
A doctor, a doctor, ten pounds for a doctor. Five pounds for him to walk in.
(Enter Doctor, complete with top hat, striped trousers and a little black bag.)
DOCtOR Here I am, I'm the Doctor.
OLD MAN You the Doctor?
DOCIOR Yes I'm the Doctor.
OLD MAN What canst thou cure?
DOCTOR The hitch, the stitch, the palsey and Gout, If theres nineteen Devils in a man, I can take twenty out.
OLD MAN What hast thou in thy bag?
DOCTOR Spectacles for lame ducks, And crutches for blind bumble bees.
OLD MAN What is thy fee to cure this man?
DOCTOR Ten pounds, but if thou be an honest man Jack, I'11 only take five off thee.
OLD MAN (Aside) Thou'll be lucKy if ta gits owt.
(Doctor then kneels besides Slasher.)
DoCToR Here Slash take a sip out of this bottle, And let it run down thy throttle, And if thou may, arise and fight again.
SLASHER 0h! my back.
DOCTOR What is the matter with thy back?
SLASHER My back is wourded, ny heart is confounded. I've been knocked out of six senses into ten score, The like of which has never been known in old England before.
(End of Scene I, Enter Giant, wearing bowler hat or trilby, carrying club, frying pan and kettle. )
BEELZEBUB In comes owd Beelzebub, Over my shoulder I carry my c1ub, In my hand a dripping pan, Don't you think I'm a jolly o1d man. (Aside,) If yo don't aH dow. with a ring ting tin and a sup more drink, I'll drink this owd kettLe dry. If yo thlnk a'm a fool and got na sense, Put ya hands in ya pockets and give a few pence.
(Places hat in centre of floor of room. Enter last character dressed in any old rags carrTing long handled sweeping brush.
LAST CHARACTER In comes little Devil Doubt, With me britches inside-out. Money I want and money I crave, If ya don't give me money I'll sweep ya to the grave.
(End of charade with all players on stage singing "God rest ye merry Gentlemen.)
LETTER WITH THE TEXT:-
Dear Sir,
Regarding your enquires for information about the Guysers charade, I hope the folLowing bits and pieces may be of he1p.
When as a lad I played some of the charactere in this ag:e old custom it went somethingi like tle following. (Lines indicate the missing pieces.)
Maybe a better memory than mine will duly fill them in.
GuYsers 19JO |
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