M.W.Barley Collection (1953, J.D.Crossland & R.Morris)
Version b |
Transcription
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Collected by Miss E.M. Paling.
from {Mr. J.D. Crossland
{Mr. R. Morris.
E. Bridgford
Plough Monday Play
Last performed about 1912
Tom Fool enters first, wearing a long hat
and garments stuffed with straw.
Says:-
Here comes I, Tom Fool,
"Who's never been before
So many actors at your door,
Some can laugh, some can sing,
By your consent they shall come in."
Eezum-Squeezum enters,
Says:-
"I am Eezum-Squeezum,
On my shoulder I carry my bezum (brush)
Under my arm a whit-leather frying
pan
Don't you think me a funny old man?"
Old lady enters. It is really a man dressed
in a long frock stuffed with straw.
Sometimes a dustpan and broom were carried
to represent lady. She may have been known
as Beelzebub. She did not say much, but
quarrelled with the others who knocked her down.
The doctor was called in. He wore a long
hat and smart coat.
Says:-
"In come I your doctor.
Tom Fool:
"How came you to be a doctor?"
"I travelled for it" or "I travelled forth."
"Where did you travel?"
"Round my grandmother's cupboard where I
got many a piece of plum cake."
or.
"England, Ireland, France and Spain
and over the hills and back again."
"What can you cure?"
"Hipsy, pipsy, palsy, gout,
Pains within and pains without,
Draw a tooth, set a leg,
And bring all dead men to life again."
"Better to try your experiment on this
old lady."
After this conversation between Tom Fool
and the Doctor, the latter starts to examine
the old lady.
Says:-
"I shall have to feel of your pulse"
but he feels of her leg instead, and says,
"Yes, best part about this old lady."
He then takes a bottle of water out of his
pocket and shakes it up.
Says:-
"I'll give you a drop of wiff-waff out of
my old Jiff-Jaff."
Tells her to rise and walk.
Farmer's Boy enters, dressed in billy cocked
hat and blue smock.
Says:-
"In comes I, the farmer's boy
Who can neither reap, plough, sow nor mow.
I can go from end to end,
And scarcely make a baulk or bend,
And to my horses I attend,
As they go marching round the end.".
Aub Jolly!"
[Aub = comes round towards the left
See again = " " " " right
Jolly = horse's name.]
Sometimes a soldier joined in, dressed in
uniform if possible,
Says:-
"All young men that's bound for listing
List and do not be afraid,
You shall have all kinds of liquors,
And likewise kiss the pretty maid."
All sing:-
"Good. Master and Good Mistress
As you sit around your fire
Remember us poor plough lads
That plough thro' mud and mire
We thank you for a Christmas box,
Or a pitcher of your best beer."
Tom Fool. "I wish you'd be steady with your pitchers,
I'm more hungry than you are dry,"
One shouted:- "What do you want Joey?".
Joey "I could do with a piece of plum cake."
Tom Fool "Yes I could do with a crumb myself
as big as a gravestone."
All go out.
Some players spent one week visiting private
houses and divided the money among themselves.
Sometimes they earned 5 or 6/- per night
which was a considerable sum then.
They were not always cordially received,
and were sometimes set on by the dogs.
All the characters had black faces and
made themselves look as ugly as possible.
Five or six was the usual number taking
part. Sticks with big knobs were carried.
Apparently at an earlier stage they
carried a plough. Called Plough Bullocking, |
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