M.W.Barley Collection (1951, M.Whitworth)
Version b |
Transcription
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PLOUGH MONDAY PLAY FROM WALESBY.
Recorded by Mr. M.Whitworth January 1951.
Tom Fool enters, carrying a stocking filled with chaff.
Old shirt tied in the middle and his face black.
In comes I, old tumbling Tom.
I be the death of many a one.
I'll be the death of many more,
I'll be the death of half a score.
As I was going to Darby, I met a Darby man, up with my
club stick and knocks him to the ground.
Mince pies hot, mince pies cold,
Mince pies on a dish, nine days old.
Enter Recruiting Sergeant. Dressed smart, medals &c.
In come I, the Recruiting Sergeant, I have arrived here
just now. I have orders from the King to enlist all jolly fellows
that follow with horse, cart or plough, such as Tinkers, Tailors,
Pedlars, Nailors, the more to my advance. The more I hear the
fiddle play, the better I can dance.
Tom Fool (Question). Pray faith you dance, If you start to
dance I shall quickly march away.
Recruiting Sergeant. Cheer up old man don't die in that despair
In a very short time there will be a lady here.
Recruiting Sergeant goes up to Tom Fool with a shilling in hand,
Will you 'list young man?
Tom Fool. (Yes),,
Rec. Serg. Are you free able and willing to take this shilling.
(He gives him shilling) To Serve the King 7 years bountifully
not exceeding 14 years.
Rec. Serg. sings.
Ten bright guineas shall be your Bounty
If along with me you'll go,
Your hat shall be trimmed with ribbon brightly
Like were cut a gallant show.
Lady enters singing.
In come a Lady bright and gay
Good fortune and sweet charms
I have had my life all thrown away
Under my truelove's arms.
He swears if I don't wait on him
As you should understand
He'll get another" sweetheart
And go in some foreign land.
Tom Fool. Walks up to her. Dost thou love me my pretty maid?
Lady:. Are ye Tommy love, to me sorrow, when shall be our wedding
day Tommy love - Tomorrow.
Clap hands.
We'll shake hands and put in the bands, and we'll get
wedtomorrow. Whack for hue for Dadie, O we'll get wed tomorrow.
Repeat.
Tom Fool to company. I have come here to invite
you stick a man jacks to me and my lady's wedding.
What you like best bring with you, and what me an my
lady likes we're going to have.
A voice outside. Whats that Tom?
Tom says. Barley chaff dumpling, butter with wool, leg of a
louse, skin of a toad, Bushel of Taters, and if you can't eat
that we shall call you a poor Crator.
Lady sings. I see my love has 'listed
And joined the Volunteers
I neither wish to sigh for him
Nor yet to shed a tear. but yet to let him
know. I'll have another sweet heart along with him I'll go.
King George enters. with wood sword and field M. uniform.
In comes I King George,
A man of might and bold with my bright sword
I won 1,000 pounds of glittering gold
I fought the fiery dragon and brought him to the slaughter
And by these means I won the King of Egypt's only daughter.
Turn round. I will turn myself round and round to see if any man
dare face me, and if he will hash him as small as mice and send
him to Jamaica to make mince pies.
Tom Fool takes up the challenge,
My head is made of iron
My body is made of steel
My hands are made of knucklebone
And you can't make me feel.
K. George answers. If your head. is made of iron and your body
is made of steel and your hands and feet are made of knucklebone
I can make you feel.
They fight. King George with sword and Tom Fool with packed
stocking.
Policeman with staff enters and parts.
Ha Ha boys hang up those swords and let them rest for peace and
quietness is the best. Hang up those swords and let them be and
fight K. George another day.
K. George. A man that fights and stands his ground
Is fit to fight another round
A man that fights and runs away
Lives to fight another day.
Policeman says. Do as you like then. They have another fight and
K. George sticks him and kills him.
Police says. King George what has thou done
Thou hast killed and slain my only son my only heir
How cans't thou stand and see him bleeding there.
King G. answers. The turk, the turk, he challenged me out to fight
how could I deny. I'll cut his head in lo square parts and make
his buttons fly.
Police says. Five pounds for a doctor.
King G. Ten to Stop away.
Police. 15 to come and he must come in a case like this.
Police Shouts. Doctor, Doctor, do come.
Voice outside. Hold my barley chaff horse, give him a stiff feed
of thatch pegs, and a drink of chaff, hold him by the tail and
mind he doesen't bite you with his whiskers.
Enters Doctor. With tall hat and black bag, filled with pill boxes.
In comes I, the noble Doctor.
King G. How came you to be a Doctor?
Doctor replies. By my travels.
King G. Where did you travel?
Doctor. England, Ireland, France & Spain
Over the hills and back again
Forty miles yon side the world and back again.
King G. Any further than that Doctor?
Doctor. o yes, a great deal further than that, 40 miles yon
side York, to curse old Mrs..Cork, she tumbled upstairs with an
empty teapot half full of flour, she grazed her shin against her
elbow and made her stocking bleed.
King G. What pains can you cure?
Doctor. Hick, stick, grunt and gout,
Pains within and pains without,
Set a tooth, draw a leg, and almost bring a dead man to
life again, if he isn't too far gone.
King G. You had better try your hand on this man then
Just feel of his pulse Doctor.
Doctor feels calf of his leg.
King G. Is that where to feel for a man's pulse?
Doctor says. Where should you feel King G.?
King G. Aback the neck, below the elbow.
Dr. again feels shoulder saying. This man isn't dead, only in a
trance, he's been trying to swallow a wheel barrow, and can't get
shut o' the wheel, its caused brain fever in the lungs. I'll gie him
one of my pills.
King G. Steady Doctor. Read. the directions.
Doctor. Take one in the morning, two at night and swallow the box
next day at dinner time. These pills are physicking pills, they
will relish the body, heal the wound, and do the soul no end of good.
Take one in themorning, two at night, and swallow the box next day
at dinner time.
Rise up old man and let's have a dance.
They all sing.
We are not the London actors
That act upon the stage ,
We are the country plough lads
That plough for little wage.
Good master and good mistress
We see our fool is gone,
We take it up in earnest to follow him along.
Good master and good mistress,
You seated by your fire,
We thank you for your Christmas box
And the jug of your best beer.
In comes I old Esam Squesam
On my back I carry a besom
In my hand a frying pan
Don't you think I'm a jolly old. man.
If you don't I do.
R.S. Then he hands frying pan round for collection and then sweeps
up with his besom.
Goodnight. |
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