Context:
Location: |
Uffington, Berkshire, England (SU3089) |
Year: |
Perf. 1860s |
Time of Occurrence: |
Christmas |
Collective Name: |
Mummers |
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Source:
Dick Eldridge
The Mummers
James Madison Carpenter Collection,
Library of Congress, AFC 1972/001, MS pp. 02870-02876 02870 02875 02875-02876, https://www.vwml.org/record/VWMLCustomsIndex/PL279
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Cast:
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Text:
{THE MUMMERS_ DICK ELDRIDGE, Uffington, Farington,
Berkshire,}
{Old Song to be sung outside door before came in:}
[All]
[1]
God bless the master of this house,
And if he is within,
And if he is pray tell us so,
And soon we will begin.
{Cho}
With the I dum i dum,
with the i dum i dum
With the i dum i dum dum derry,
For we are come this Christmas time
On purpose to be merry.
[2]
For we'll be merry here my boys,
And we'll be merry there,
For who can tell whether we shall live,
To be merry another year.
{Cho}
[3]
Although we're at your house so late,
I 'ope it's no offence,
And if it it is, pray tell us so,
And soon we will go ence.
{Cho}
FATHER CHRISTMAS: {(Knocking at door), asking if they would to see} The Mummers acted . Goes in;}
In comes I, Old Father Christmas,
Weilcome or welcome not,
I 'ope Old Father Christmas,
Will never be forgot.
[I've]
FATHER CHRISTMAS: {Continued} :
I've brougnt my little broom
This merry Christmas time,
To knock down the cobwebs and sweep up the room,
A room, a room, I do presume,
Please give us room to rhyme,
For I've come to show activity
This merry Christmas time.
Activities of youth, activities of age,
The likes was never seen nor yet acted on no stage.
All you that won't believe what I've had to say,
Walk in, King George, and clear the way!
KING GEORGE:
In comes I King George this night,
Who lost his blood through an English fight.
Through an English fight it was the reason
That makes me carry this awful weapon.
I've fought 'ard battles at home and abroad,
It all comes true upon my word.
I fear no Spanish, French nor Turk,
No man of life shall do me any hurt.
Now let me hear your voices ring,
[All]
{In Unison:}
In comes the Royal o Proosia King!
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
Walk in, Old Starcher the Third! {Enter Starcher}
STARCHER:
In comes I, Old Captain Curtis,
Just come from the life o Wight
And the Duke o Northampton
I'm come yere to fight.
Were is th t man who dares to bid me stand?
And swears he'll cut me down with his all-creation 'and?
[p.3 MUMMERS_-- Uffington]
STARCHER THIRD {Continued} :
I'll cut 'm hue im as small as flies,
And send 'im to the coop shop to make mince pies.
I'm a valiant soldier,
both sword and buckler by my side,
And Starcher is my name,
An be in 'opes to win this game,
{Actors all circling the room,
from the time they enter. King George just in front of him;
King Georges, turns round, saying to Starcher:}
KING GEORGE:
Aa-a- Starcher, A-a-a, Starcher, don't thee be too 'ot!
For in this room, thee dusn't know oo thee's got!
STARCHER:
A-a-a, my brave boy, an' I'll stand good!
An from thy body, I'll draw thy blood.
A battle to battle let thee an I try,
An see which first on the ground shall lie,
Mind thee eyes, guard thee blows,
an thee face also
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
War!
{Falling into
fencing posture; they fight; down goes King George. Lies flat
on his back.}
FATHER Christmas:
O Doctor, O doctor, is't away? [haste away]
No longer let his man I 'yere lay.
O Doctor, O doctor, do thy part;
King George is wounded in his heart.
O Doctor, O Doctor, what is thy fee?
DOCTOR:
Ten pound and a crown is my fee,
But only five I'll take o thee.
Before I set this gallant free.
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
Work thy will, good Doctor!
DOCTOR:
I see what's the matter with this man;
He've got the tuth ache very bad!
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
Is that all, sir!
DOCTOR:
That's all!
Bring my pliers, Jack!
JACK VINNEY:
Your wires, sir?
DOCTOR:
No! my pliers!
{Jack Vinney rus in with attache case, pulling
out pliers}
{Doctor slips big cow's tooth in under the man's upper lip.}
DOCTOR;
Help me pull Jack!
JACK VINEY:
'Ulp you 'old, sir?
DOCTOR:
No! Help me pull!
Pull Jack!
Wo, Jack,
my, pliers slipped!
make a better holt next time
Pull Jack! {Out comes tooth; and he holds up with pliers.}
See sir, see sir, what a terrible long sprang
That tooth had got!
Don' you think that'was enough to kill any man?
Think if I 'adn't made a clever 'and at it,
I should a-broke 'is jaw bunes?
If not, tore 'is gums all in pieces.
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
You would sir, that you would!
DOCTOR:
Bring my pill box, Jack!
JACK VINNEY:
Your will box, sir?
DOCTOR:
No! my pill box!
{Jack Vinney holds up box of pills or peas, rattling the}
DOCTOR: {to Father Christmas}
Sir, in this great box which I carry
full o' little pills,
Which shall cure all ills,
The itch, the stitch, the palsey and the gout,
All pains within an' pains without".
The molly-grubs, the grampy scrubs,
And all these other tantorious little things
Which no other doctor's be able to mention in a fortnight.
Bring me in an auld woman that's been dead seven long yrs,
An lyad in 'er grave ayght an buried nine,
An if 'ur aint got a umpum, scrumpum jack tuth in 'er 'ead,
I'll bound to be barn with a thousand free nations
That this man's llfe shall be saved.
So thee take one o these little pills,
[p.5 MUMMERS, Uffington, Eldridge]
DOCTOR:
Which shall work thee through an tbrough again,
King of England, King of Spain,
Rise up, King George, an' fight again!
{Up he jumps, and battles again. This time Starcher goes down.}
DOCTOR:
Walk in, Jack Vinney! {Enters Jack Vinney}
JACK VINNEY:
MY name's not Jack Vinney!
DOCTOR:
O pryeye, w'at's thy name?
JACK VINNEY:
My nyme's Mister Vinney,
An the least thing the can do is to call me Mr. Vinney!
For I'm the man o great property;
Do more'n thee canst, or any other man!
DOCTOR:
O Pryaye, w'at can's thee do, then Jack?
JACK VINNEY:
Cure a magpie with the tuthache!
Jackdaw with the belly ache,
an' wood cock wi the 'ead ache!
Can cure this man, if he's not quite dead,
So my brave fellow, rise up thy 'ead!
Bein the case thou wust before,
Rise up, my brave fellow, an fight no more!
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
Walk in, Old Mother Beelzebub!
OLD MOTHER BEELZEBUB:
In comes I, Old Mother Beelzebub,
An' at me back E cars' me club,
An in me 'and a drippin pan;
Don't ye think I'm a jolly old gal.
The fry'n pan byut, the ladle,
The sparks flied over the table,
Aye, aye, said the gridiron,
Can't you agree?
I'm the Justice,
Bring 'im to me!
In comes I as aint been 'it,
With my big 'ead an little wit.
My 'ead's too big an me wit's too small
I brought me fiddle to pleas you all.
All green shoes an yellow laces,
Now me boys, come take your places;
Poor old fiddler's in a poor place,
For the want of a little money!
{All begin singing;}
[All]
Tramp, tramp, the boys are marching,
Cheer up, an come an let's be gay!
We will toss an flow an lass,
With a full an flowing glass,
With a merry fife an drum we'll march away.
{{One begins singing the song, the chorus of which precedes):}
[Someone]
[1]
My name is Paddy Doyle, I'm the native of the soil,
Where the pretty little Shamrocks lively grow,
The a soldier I will list, Put a shillin' in my fist,
With a bounty an a nobby suit of clothes.
{Cho.}
[2]
We of times have a lark, with with the nursemaids in the park
With their pretty little figure an it's beauty!
W'ile the children run an play,
We do pass our time away,
Thatis what we call doin soldier's duty.
[3]
Whene'er we leave the town, those girls they shout an frown,
To think they'll never see their darlin any more;
But we always bear in mind, those girls we leave behind,
The darlin little creature I adore.
{FATHER CHRISTMAS and OLD WOMAN GO OUTSIDE DOOR, and old lady
shakin on his arm:}
"I'm growin old an feeble, my sight is getting dim,
My work upon this earth is nearly done.
Old Massa has departed, an I soon shall follow him,
An my friends have corssed the river one by one,
[indented]
'Tis sad to say good bye, to all I love so dear,
I shall never see those good old times again!
And I miss the happy voices that l fondly used to hear,
In that little old log cabin down the lane!
[p.7 MUMMERS, Uffington , Aldridge]
{Chorus Song :}
For these 'inges they are rusty, [roosty]
An the walls are tumblin down
The roof lets in the sunshine an the rain,
An the only one! that's left me is that little boy of mine,
In that little old log cabin down the lane.
[Second Verse]
O tis sad to say good-bye, to all that I love so dear,
For I shall never see those good old times again,
An miss the hearty voices which I fondly used, to hear,
In that little old log cabin down the lane.
[3d verse]
Still I'll totter to my journey's end and try and do my best,
Though I'm sad and weary-hearted all the day;
And the angels they will call me, when my time is come to go
To that bright an happy home so far way.
Still I'll linger by the door, an' try an sing the song,
That I used to to among the sugar cane,
An I'm waitin for the summons; it soon will come alone,
To that little old log cabin down the lane.
{The end --}
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Notes:
Carpenter's Heading
DICK ELDRIDGE, Uffington, Farington, Berkshire,
From Edward Bailey, Uffington, 50 years ago; he about 40 yrs old then; Never saw in print.
(Wrote for Miss Butler, Woolston Lodge, (next village, last year; & Miss Jenkins, Stockham farm, 3 to 4 years ago -- just above village)
Carpenter's Footnotes
(Father Christmas, as usual; others, two soldiers, King George and Starcher; dressed up as soldiers; Doctor with long frock coat, and top hat -- Used to have sheets of wall paper, cut into fringes and covered with it. -- Top hats, with strips around it; all black faces.
Indexer's Notes
Carpenter's typescript has numerous obvious typing errors. Where Carpenter's own corrections are evident (e.g. over-typing or manuscript annotations), these have been implemented. Words have been split where Carpenter appears to have omitted spaces accidentally.
Biographical Notes on the Informants
According to census records:
Richard Eldridge, born c. 1873 at Hatford, Berks.
Edward Bailey, born c.1846 at Uffington, Berks.
If we assume that Bailey performed the play in his late teens or early 20s, this dates the play to the 1860s
Eldridge would have been aged c.13 years when he obtained the play from Bailey.
This chronology would mean that Carpenter collected the play about 1936, and Eldridge would have been aged about 63 years.
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File History:
2024-02-26 - Digitised and encoded by Peter Millington
2024-10-03 - TEI-encoded by Peter Millington
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Extras:
Dramaturgical Chart
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The chart reveals the dramaturgical structure of the play by showing which speeches in the script are spoken by which character. Vertical lines indicate stage directions.
TEI-encoded File
A TEI-encoded XML version of this text can be downloaded here.
Text Relatives Map
See how many of the lines in this text also appear in other plays:
- As a histogram sorted by the number of shared lines
- On a map with markers sized according to the number of shared lines
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