Text:
{CHRISTMAS PLAY FROM BLENNERHASSET (near Aspatria, in Cumbria)}
{KNOCK ON DOOR}
{Enter Leader/Fool:}
[Leader]
I open the door, I enter in
I beg your pardon to begin,
Stir up the fire and make a light
Or in this house there'll be a fight!
{Alternative introduction:}
Father Christmas:
Here comes in old Father Christmas
Welcome or welcome not,
I hope old Father Christmas
Will never be forgot.
When I was a boy I used to go in orchards
To steal apples to make gooseberry pies!
I was born in a rocky country
Where there was no wood to make me a cradle of
I was born round-shouldered ...
And I'm round-shouldered yet!
Here comes in the Turkish Knight.
{Enter Turkish Knight:}
[Turkish Knight]
I've come from Turkey land to fight
And if King George will meet me here
I'll try my courage without fear.
Here comes in King George!
{Enter King George:}
[King George]
King George is my name...
With a sword and a spear by my side,
I'll knock you down in half a minute!
Turkish Knight:
You, Sir?
King George:
I, Sir!
Pick up your sword and try, Sir!
{THEY FIGHT AND KING GEORGE KILS THE TURKISH KNIGHT.}
King George:
O see what I have done:
I've killed my father's eldest son!
I wonder if there's any five pound doctors in this town?
{Enter Doctor:}
[Doctor]
Here comes in old Doctor Brown
Best old doctor in the town.
King George:
What can you cure?
Doctor:
That dead man lying down there.
Take a drop of my ipsy-pipsy -
Rise up and sing a song!
{MINISTERS TO TURKISH KNIGHT, WHO GETS UP AND SINGS. ALL MAY JOIN IN}
Turkish Knight:
Once I was dead, now I'm alive
With a pocket full of money and a cellar full of beer
I wish you Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year.
{Enter Johnny Cunny:}
[Johnny Cunny]
In comes I little Johnny Cunny,
I'm the man that takes the money.
If you haven't got a penny
A halfpenny will do.
If you haven't got a halfpenny
God bless you!
|