Text:
{T'OWD TUP - ECKINGTON}
{Enter Old Man & Old Woman leading Tup - Collector follows them.}
OLD MAN & WOMAN CHANT:
Here comes me & our Old lass,
Short of money and short of brass,
Pay for a pint and let us sup,
And then we'll show you our old Tup.
{SING}
As we were going to Derby
Upon a market day,
We met the finest Tup
That ever fed on hay.
{CHO.} Fay-lay, fay-lay, laddie-fol-lairey-lay.
COLLECTOR:
What you doing with that Tup?
OLD MAN & WOMAN:
We're taking him to Derby to be stuck,
but we don't think he'll make it.
{ADDRESSING AUDIENCE} Is there a Butcher in the house?
COLLECTOR;
Our Bill's a Blacksmith.
OLD MAN & WOMAN;
You daft bugger, we don't want a Blacksmith, we want a Butcher,
COLLECTOR;
Our Bob's a Butcher.
OLD MAN & WOMAN:
You daft bugger, fetch him here - tell him he's wanted.
COLLECTOR:
Bob!! Bring yourself here - you're wanted.
BOB:
What's going on?
What's all the noise about?
{SEES TUP} By - that's as fine a Tup as ever I've seen,
where are you taking him?
OLD MAN & WOMAN:
We were taking him to Derby to be stuck,
but we don't think he'll make it,
so we want him sticking now.
Are you a Butcher?
BOB:
That I am - the best in Derby.
OLD MAN & WOMAN:
Will you stick the Tup?
BOB: {TAKING KNIFE FROM APRON}
Aye - I will that.
Where do you want him sticking - in the head or in the tail?
OLD MAN & WOMAN:
In the head to be sure.
{BOB PLUNGES KNIFE TO TUP'S HEAD - TUP FALLS TO THE GROUND MAKING
APPROPRIATE NOISES. ALL SING.}
{ALL SING (EXCEPT BUTCHER)}
[All except Butcher]
And now the butcher has stuck the tup
Who's in danger of his life,
He's up to his knees in blood,
Crying out for a longer life.
{CHO.}
ALL SING
All the women in Derby
Came begging for his ears
To make then leather aprons
To last them forty years.
{CHO.}
And all the boys in Derby
Came begging for his eyes
To kick about the Derby streets,
For they were football size.
{CHO.}
All ths men in Derby
Came begging for his tail
To make a big strong rope with
To hang in Derby jail.
{CHO.}
And all the girls in Derby
Came begging for his hide
To make the finest shoes with
To warm their feet inside.
{CHO.}
And now our song is ended,
We've got no more to say,
So please will you give us a copper or two
To help us on our way.
{CHO.}
{COLLECTER GOES ROUND WITH BOX.}
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