Text:
{T'OWD TUP - ECKINGTON}
{TEXT}
{ENTER OLD MAW & OLD WOMAN LEADING TUP - CHARACTER FOLLOWS THEM (ACTS
AS A BYSTANDER INITIALLY)}
OLD MAN & WOMAN CHANT:
Here comes me & our old lass
Short of money and short of brass
Pay for a pint and let us sup
And then we'll show you our old Tup.
OLD MAN & WOMAN SING:
As we were going to Derby
Upon a market day
We had the finest Tup
That ever fed on hay
{CHORUS} Fai-olai nanny-go-lai
CHARACTER: {JOINING OLD MAN & WOMAN}
What are you doing with that Tup?
OLD MAN & OLD WOMAN: {IN UNISON)}
We were taking him to Derby to be stuck,
but we don't think he'll make it.
{ADDRESSES AUDIENCE} Is there a butcher in the house?
CHARACTER:
Our Bill's a blacksmith
OLD MAN & OLD WOMAN:
You daft old bugger [or fool or idiot etc.]
We don't want a blacksmith, we want a butcher.
CHARACTER:
Our Bob's a butcher.
OLD MAN & OLD WOMAN:
You daft bugger [or fool etc.]
Fetch him here and tell him he's wanted.
CHARACTER: {WALKS TO DOOR OR WINGS ETC. & SHOUTS}
Bob! Bring yourself here, you're wanted.
{ENTER BOB THE BUTCHER}
BOB:
What's going on?
What's all the noise about?
{LOOKING ROUND SEES TUP} By - that's as fine a tup as ever I've seen,
where are you taking him?
OLD MAN & OLD WOMAN:
We were taking him to Derby to be stuck,
but we don't think he'll make it.
so we want him sticking now.
Are you a butcher?
BOB:
That I am, the best in Derby.
OLD MAN & WOMAN;
Will you stick the Tup?
BOB: {TAKING KNIFE PROM APRON}
Aye, I will that.
Where do you want him sticking, head or -tail?
OLD MAN & WOMAN:
In the head to be sure.
{BOB PLUNGES KNIFE TO TUP'S HEAD. TUP FALLS TO GROUND MAKING APPROPRIATE NOISES & KICKS ETC.}
ALL SING: (EXCEPT BUTCHER)
And now the butcher has stuck the Tup
Who's in danger of his life
He's up to his knees in blood.
Crying out for a longer life
{CHO:}
{THEN ALL SING-:}
[All]
All the women in Derby
Came begging for his ears
To make aprons with
To last them forty years
{CHO:}
All the men in Derby
Came begging for his tail
To make a big strong rope
To hang in Derby jail
{CHO:}
And all the boys in Derby
Came begging for his eyes
To make footballs with
To lastthem [sic] all their lives
{CHO:}
And all the girls in Derby
Came begging for his hide
To make shoes with
To keep their feet warm inside
{CHO:}
And now our song is ended
We have no more to say
Pleace give us a Christmas gift
And lot us go away
{CHO:}
{CHARACTER TAKES ROUND COLLECTING BOX TO MEMBERS OP AUDIENCE.}
|
