M.W.Barley Collection (1948)
Main Variant |
Transcription
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See note at end.
Plough Boy's Play.
Flintham Notts.
TOM FOOL.
In comes one who has never been before,
I cannot get through the window
So I've come through the door
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen
A Happy New Year to you
There are several more actors at the door,
Some can dance and some can sing
By your consent they shall come in
Oakom, Pokom, France & Spain,
Step in Sergeant, O'er the main.
RECRUITING SERGEANT.
In comes I the Recruiting Sergeant.
I've arrived here just now -
I have orders from the King to list all jolly fellows,
That follow either cart, horse or plough.
Pedlars, nailers, tinkers, tailors,
Chimney sweeps to me advance
The more I hear the fiddle play
The better I can dance.
TOM FOOL
If you begin to sing, dance or say,
I will quickly step away.
RECRUITING SERGEANT SINGS:
Come all ye lads that bound for listing.
List and do not be afraid.
You shall have all kinds of liquor,
Like wise kiss a pretty maid.
ENTER
FARMER'S MAN.
In comes I, the farmer's man.
Don�t you see the whip in my hand
As I go up to plough the land,
And turn it upside down;
Straight I go from end to end
I scarcely make a break or bend,
And to my horses I attend
As they go marching round the end.
GEE! WHOA! BACK! BANKER!
RECRUITING SERGEANT TO FARMER'S MAN.
You will list young man?
Are you free, able and willing,
To take this shilling,
While on your old hat I pin this ribbon?
FARMER'S MAN "Yes, Sir"
RECRUITING SERG. SINGS.
Ten bright pounds shall be your bounty
If along with me you'll go.
Your old hat shall be trimmed with ribbon,
Likewise cut a gallant show.
-2-
FARMER'S MAN.
Thanks kind sergeant, I'll take your offer
Time and away dosh quickly pass;
Dash my whip if I'll grieve any longer,
For a proud and saucy lass.
ENTER
LADY SINGING.
In comes I a lady bright and gay,
With fortune and sweet charms;
So scornfully I've been thrown away
Out of my true love's arms.
He says that if I don't wed with him,
That you will understand,
He will list for some old soldier,
And go to foreign land.
FARMER'S MAN SINGS TO THE LADY.
Madam, I've got gold and silver,
Madam, I've got house and land.,
Madam, I've got rings and jewels,
For to put on thy right hand.
LADY SINGS TO FARMER'S MAN
What care I for you gold and silver,
What care I for your house and land,
What care I for your rings and jewels
All I want is a handsome man.
FARMER'S MAN SINGS TO THE LADY.
A handsome man will not maintain you
Neither will his money flow.
I am the man's that's got the money,
And it's money that made the old mare go.
TOM FOOL TO LADY
Do you love me my pretty maid?
LADY TO TOM FOOL
Yes Tommy, to my sorrow,
TOM FOOL
When shall be our wedding day?
LADY.
Tommy love, tomorrow.
TOM FOOL.
We'll shake hands and we'll lock banns,
We will be wed to-morrow.
TOM FOOL joins hands with Lady, and Recruiting Sergeant
with Farmer's nan.
ENTER
BEELZEBUB
In comes I, old Beelzebub,
Over my shoulder I carry my club
Under my arm, I'Ve a frying pan
Don't you think I'm a funny old man.
(If you don't, I do)
-3-
ENTER
ST. GEORGE.
In comes I, St George the Champion bold.
With my bright sword.
I won ten thousand pounds in glittering gold.
I fought the fiery dragon, and brought him to a slaughter a
slaughter,
And by that means I gained
The King of Egypt's daughter.
George continues:-
I turn myself round, is there anyone who care stand
before me to-night?
TOM FOOL TO KING GEORGE:
I will last night but not to-night.
KING GEORGE TO TOM FOOL:
You will to-night for I will hiss, I will slice you in
ten square pieces and make your ribbons fly.
RECRUITING SERGEANT:
Hush! hush! young man don't get red hot,
For whom you're daring, you know not
With my sword point there is no doubt
If you've a mind we'll fight it out.
KING George accepts the fight.
TOM FOOL
Stir the fire and strike a light,
And see this fellow act to-night.
One - two - three.
Fight commences, Beelzebub steps in between then
and is wounded by St. George.
TOM FOOL.
Oh George! oh George! what hast thou done.
You've gone and slain my only son,
My only son! my only heir!
How can you see him bleeding there.
St. George, pointing to the Recruiting Sergt: says:-
He challenged me to fight, How could I deny.
TOM FOOL.
Five pounds for a doctor?
Recruit. Sergt:
Ten pounds to stop away.
TOM FOOL:
Fifteen pounds, but he must come on a case like this.
ENTER
DOCTOR.
In comes I, a doctor.
TOM FOOL
You a doctor!
DOCTOR.
Yes, me a doctor.
TOM FOOL.
What do you cure?
-4-
DOCTOR
Ipsey, pipsey, palsy, gount,
Pains within and pains without,
England, Ireland, France and Spain,
Over the hills and back again;
Draw a tooth, set a leg,
Raise the dead to life again. (occasionally)
Doctor hands his gloves and walking stick to the lady
and then looks at Beelzebub's throat.
DOCTOR.
Well this old chap is not dead, but in a trance, His
pulse beats very true and irregular. It beats fourteen
times the tick of my watch once, that's once an hour,
and by the size of his throat and chest he has also
swallowed a donkey and cart. And one of the wheels
won't digest. I have here a small box of pills.
TOMMY
Yes doctor.
DOCTOR
These priceless pills,
Tthese priceless pills,
They cure both body and soul.
Doctor continues:
They kill cats and rats, and make a leg of mutton
tremble half a mile away. I have here another box
of pills Tommy. Here's stilts for shrimps -
Gglasses for blind bees, crutches for lame Grass-hoppers,
He must take two in the morning, and I'm sure if the pills
won't digest, the box will.
TOM FOOL
I'll see he takes them, doctor!
Doctor helps Beelzebub to his feet.
ALL SING
We are not the London actors
That act upon the stage
We are the country Plough Boys
Who plough for little wage.
The mire is so very deep,
The water runs so clear.
We wish you all Good-night
And another Happy Year
We thank you for your Christmas Box
And a pitcher of your beer.
THE DOCTOR LEAVES HIS ADDRESS.
Mr Killy-me-I-do,
Where the monkey fought the weasel up the apple tree,
Good-night and I thank you
EXIT FOOL
And now our song is ended
You see our Fool has gone,
We take it as our business
To follow him along.
We thank you for your civility,
And what you've given us here.
We wish you all Good-night
And another Happy Year.
Flintham Plough Boy PLay
Collected about 1934.
Last performed about 1925. |
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